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THE
PLOT
Innkeeper Dame Crystal Dartington and her
son Jack, threatened with eviction by Baron Stoneybroke,
send Bessie their cow to market. The traditional story
takes an unexpected turn when the "old lady" who buys
Jack’s cow turns out to be the villainous Cardinal
Quichelieu who needs more body parts for his cloning
experiments. Back home Jack plants the magic beans and a
giant beanstalk duly grows overnight, only to be fatally
sprayed by the Royal pest control Inspector. Jack and
his Mum are saved by the Three Musketeers volunteering
to help them, and they all go off on a quest to rescue
Bessie and foil the Cardinal’s dastardly plans. They
have to deal with quarrelsome goblins and the Cardinal’s
henchpersons, helped by the Relief Fairy who’s never
sure which panto she’s meant to be in. Colourful, packed
with great characters and irresistibly hilarious, the
script is a delight for groups looking for something
extra from their panto.

The three musketeers in fine voice.............

Dame Crystal and some awkward customers............
THE CAST
Dame Dartington, Jack Dartington, Jill (Jack’s
girlfriend), Baron (Jill’s father), Argos, Pathos & Domestos the 3 Musketeers, Inspecta,
The Cardinal, Lorraine & Nancy his Henchpersons, The Relief Fairy, Hob &
Gob, Le Crusher, Bessie the Cow, Bluebottle, Inn Customers, Courtiers.
SCENES
ACT ONE:
Inside Dartington Hall; Road
to Market; Kitchen & garden at Dartington Hall; A Road;
Inside Dartington Hall.
ACT TWO:
The Grounds of Chateau Quichelieu; The Enchanted Wood; The Road with Traps for
Catching People; The Torture Chamber at the Chateau; A
Passage; The Great Hall; The Road Home.
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